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Telling Your Spouse About Divorce

An Incredibly Challenging Conversation

The decision to get a divorce is one that takes much careful thought and consideration, but after you’ve decided that you want to move forward with this direction, one of your next steps is to inform your spouse of your desire to end your marriage. This conversation, however, is perhaps one of the most difficult you may have; you may not know how your spouse may react, and the end of this talk may leave both of you feeling sad and unsure of how to move forward.

Though this conversation will be challenging, here are some things to consider when you prepare to tell your spouse you want a divorce.

Prepare in Advance

This heavy discussion is not one you can have at any given moment; it takes time to prepare what you will say, how you will say it, and when this conversation takes place. Choose somewhere that will not be a distraction to both of you, and try to keep it in a neutral location. In addition, be sure that this conversation does not come as a surprise to your spouse; let them know in advance that you want to have a serious discussion so they know that you will be talking about something important.

Avoid the Blame Game

It can be very easy to blame your spouse for the problems that have plagued your marriage, but constantly attacking your spouse like this can only lead to anger and frustration. Rather than immediately blame your spouse, take an “I” statement approach by focusing on your feelings and thoughts while listening to what your spouse has to say.

Stay Calm

Above all else, it is important to go into this difficult conversation as calmly as possible and to remain calm throughout your discussion. It’s very possible that your spouse may become angry or defensive as you share your thoughts, and they may even get so angry that they threaten you. It’s important to stay as calm as you can, even in the face of hurtful words, and respond accordingly; keeping a cooler head can have an impact on how your spouse handles the rest of the discussion.

Prepare to Speak with a Divorce Attorney

After you’ve shared your intentions with your spouse, the next step is to begin working with a divorce attorney on the process. They can help you prepare for the road ahead and guide you on how best to move forward at each step. At Jeff Gilbert Law Office, our team understands that divorce can be very difficult; we are committed to helping you work through the challenges and help you achieve the fresh start on the other side.


Learn more about divorce or get started with us by calling our office at (979) 200-6556 or by visiting us online.

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